Give me the best joke you have, and I will reply to you if I find it hilarious. I don't want a handsome and fit stud at this moment. I am looking for a funny man who can brighten up my day with his jokes and stories.

If having a butchers in my profile makes you so randy, I'd appreciate it if you drop me an awesome message letting me know that I, indeed, increase your sexual arousal. My sexual senses like men who tell me straight how they want to fuck me.

I exercise a lot to stay in shape plus I eat healthy snacks/food to stay strong. I eat porridge with lots of berries on top in the morning, and I have banana smoothie with lots of milk and some butter. At night, I eat mixed fruits before I do my skin...

I only eat fish, vegetable and fruit. Animal cruelty is now a problem in the world, and I don't want to be a burden to environmentalist. I don't hate meat, but I don't eat it. There's only one type of meat I can't say no to. Message me if you want to...

Never would have thought that a woman at my age would still get wet dreams. So you would have imagined how shocked I was when I woke up to my knickers soaked and my cunt aching for a fuck. I was so wet that I didn't have to wait to sink my fingers in...

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?